Noblest Sky
Posted on Wednesday, December 22nd, 2010 at 11:20 amHere are Todays Amazing Noblest Sky Deals
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hi guys i wrote a poem..juss wanna know if it was good...expectin ur reply?NATURE'S DELIGHT The love of nature is lovely than love 'cause it makes me feel like a free dove. the green beauty and the noble sky, takes my dreams up high. Rainbow delight and bluemoon light makes me happy day and night. the magnificient days with colourful rays, sparks gleam-glint on my face. It is spacious as your heart and is the world's best part. from grass to a tree it acts out really worthy.
The sentiments are lovely, but the expression is weak. Doves have long been a symbol of peace (especially in Christianity), but they're not known for being emotional. Thus to state that you feel like a free dove indicates that you feel like flying, but little else. Likewise, the Sky has for a long time been the abode of celestial beings. Even Christians place Heaven in the sky, so there is something holy about it. But simply to call it noble and leave it at that begs the question: why is it noble to you? Draw this out in a series of metaphors and it would be a much better statement. Alas, some people's hearts are not very spacious. Maybe nature is as spacious as your heart, but really you are very small compared to Nature, and the comparison is weak. You could go with "Nature makes my heart feel spacious", but if so tell us why. In metaphors and similes, please.